Why You Should Buy The Imbible
If you feel bad buying a book about drinking, just cover up the first 5 letters.
The U.S. Marines’ first recruiting station was in a bar. The Marines kill bad people. Are you pro bad people?
Because if you don’t remember how you got the scar, you can make up as manly as story as you like.
If you never get to A) pass out on the floor, B) wake up in hand cuffs, C) go streaking, and D) wake up next to a naked stranger, you won’t be able to relate to half of all funny movies.
From the first drink of the night to the hair of the dog the next morning, THE IMBIBLE will make sure 90% of your outgoing phone calls are between 3:00-5:00am, which do not use peak minutes.
It can be used as a projectile, which you could say about any book, but after a few nights of usage this one will probably have Chlamydia and act like a poison ninja star, which is way sweet.
18 games of beer pong is a scapegoat for anything.
THE IMBIBLE is guaranteed to lower your standards in 5 chapters or less!
Adolf Hitler was one of the world's best known abstainers from alcohol; his adversary, Sir Winston Churchill, was one of the world's best known heavy drinkers. I’ll let you figure this one out.
Five letters of THE IMBIBLE make up the best selling book of all time…that’s right: “The Im.”
Guaranteed to get you drunker than any case of beer!**
President Lincoln, when informed that General Grant drank whiskey while leading his troops, reportedly replied "Find out the name of the brand so I can give it to my other generals." Get on it.
THE IMBIBLE will lower GPAs across the country, making you look way better compared to everyone else.
Think about it…if ENRON had bought this book for all its employees they’d be too drunk to commit accounting fraud!
Drunk girls are easier. Not being a dick, just saying.
Drunk guys are easier. Not being a slut, just saying.
Franklin D. Roosevelt was elected President of the U.S. in 1932 on a pledge to end National Prohibition, so stop shitting on his memory and drink the fuck up!
It makes quarters worth entirely more than 25 cents.
And finally…
THE IMBIBLE provides you with an infinite number of excuses to call your ex.
**Not guaranteed.
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Buy The ImBible: Drinking Games for Times You'll Never Remember with Friends You'll Never Forget
alexbash1@gmail.com
Sometimes The Imbible and I watch the sunrise.
The Imbible Blog
The Imbible comes out tomorrow!
(8/4/08)The Imbible comes out in one day!
If you don’t know what The Imbible is, please direct your attention to the middle and right columns of this page for a synopsis, sample games, testimonials, TOC and quotes. You can pre-order it right now from Amazon, or buy it wherever books are sold on August 5th. If for whatever reason you are dissatisfied with your purchase, use the book to drink away the pain.
As my acquisition editor told me, “Soon you and Hemmingway swill have two things in common.”
Occasionally, The Imbible runs off into the sunset with two girls .
Quotes from The Imbible
Emotions can definitely run high, so it's in your best interest to drink yourself numb.
Can you get a DUI riding a bike around the playground? I think not!
It’s only a matter of time before we’re boning fat chicks and singing-along to American Pie.
Note: Gold Medals do not prevent whiskey dick.
You can practice on your own, but some call this alcoholism.
No, that’s not an over-flowing cup Drunk Steve. It’s the dog, and you can’t drink him.
If you're scared about skeletons in your closet being exposed, don't play this game. If you literally have skeletons in your closet, find a better hiding place.
The more you drink, the more you’ll be able to focus on what really matters, like sex, intercourse, fucking, making love, screwing and fornicating.
Be creative. And if you’re not creative, you obviously haven’t drunk enough yet.
Undefeated, naturally.
Drinking with my best friends: Imbible, Imbible, Imbible, and Steve.
The Imbible would make a great mother.
Sample Games
About the Author
In contrast to his general belligerence, Alex works at a hospital where he saves lives, which he likes to remind people is no big deal. He can say otolaryngology in three languages and knows more about the Orbitofrontal Cortex than is necessary for someone who is not, technically, a doctor. He enjoys bubblegum toothpaste, strawberry Pop Tarts, and bench press.
My editor sent me an extra large digital copy of The Imbible. I brought it to Canada with me...eh.
Sometimes The Imbible and I do the Can-Can at 4am and then wake up in the front lawn clutching three empty bottles of champagne.
Sometimes The Imbible fights bears.
Being too perpetually hungover to eat = losing fat = getting ripped.
You're welcome.