Synopsis
The Imbible contains rules and variations for 100 drinking games, as well as dozens of funny excerpts regarding such important topics as The Origin of Beer Pong, Drunken Time-Traveling, Alcoholic Predisposition, Metaphorical Upside-Down Tequila Shots, and many more, making it just as much humor as it is instruction.
Back Cover
What do you do when you wake up in an unfamiliar neighborhood hand-cuffed to a fire hydrant, clothed in nothing but socks and pink nail polish, your hand clutching a stained legal document…written in French? Celebrate! You just had a great night! And to think—it all started with The ImBible. This book contains all the drinking game classics, from Quarters to Kings, to today’s newest, coolest, and most debauched drinking games, including Beer Roulette and The Lord of the Rings drinking game (every time a character draws a sword more slowly and cinematic than is pragmatic to do in the heat of the battle, drink). Containing original illustrations and more boob jokes than is necessary, this will truly be the bible of drinking games.Commonly Asked Questions
WHAT'S WITH THE TITLE?
The word “Imbibe” means “to drink.” Thus, The Imbible is the bible of drinking.
WHAT EXACTLY IS THE BOOK ABOUT?
Glad you asked: The Imbible not only contains rules, variations and helpful tips for 100 drinking games, it also has tons of humorous excerpts about hangovers, locating one’s pants, and sneaking out of her room before she rolls over. The Imbible will be found in the humor section of your local bookstore.
WHAT KINDS OF GAMES DOES IT HAVE?
Every drinking game you’ve ever heard of, from quarters to kings to three man to pillars, as well as dozens and dozens of new, totally original games, like Beer Roulette, G.H.R.F, and the infamous Circle of Extreme Happy Greatness.
WHAT KINDS OF HUMOROUS EXCERPTS?
Let’s see…things like The Origin of Beer Pong, The Preferred Sexual Position of the Renaissance, Communist Forks, Booze Slogans, Drunken Time-Traveling, Discount Cash Flow Analysis, The Great Chicken Conspiracy, Operation Imbibe and Conquer, How To Survive a Beerquake, The Metaphor that is Chumbawumba, etc. You know, the usual.
WHERE CAN I BUY THE BOOK?
The Imbible is available everywhere books are sold, including:
CAN I READ YOUR BIO AND THEN PRETEND TO KNOW YOU WHEN I SHOW OFF THE IMBIBLE TO OTHERS?
Yes. Yes you can. You were my lead researcher. And I love you.
IS THERE GOING TO BE A BOOK TOUR?
A nation-wide fraternity tour is possible, and trust me, it would be like no other book tour ever conceived. Nightly Beer Olympics, flip cup tournaments, etc. But, it all depends on how well the book does. So if you want to see it happen, buy some copies for yourself, your friends, your family, and anybody else who wants (or needs) to have a good time. Help the world lighten up a little.
HOW CAN I HELP?
If you like what you read and have a contact in the media, please ask them politely if they'd like to do a review or feature. If they don't answer, jam the fucking book down their throat and pester them until they say yes just to make you leave them alone.
Praise for The Imbible
"The Imbible introduces Bash as a major new talent in the genre of 'books most likely to make you run through campus naked…'" – Officer Hernandez
"A laugh-out-loud must have for any party connoisseur." - John Austin, author of Prank University
"A stunning debut by that guy who kept us up 'til 4am with drunken choruses of Wonder Wall..." - The Sorority Next Door
"I read the entire thing cover to cover and didn't even play one game - it's THAT funny." Internet Commenter
"No, but really, the book is hilarious. He's a seriously funny author." – Guy who is taking this way too seriously
"Just reading it could give you a hangover." Jason Pinter, author of the Henry Parker NOvels
" "I have not woken up before noon since Alex wrote this book. I'm not sure if this is a good or bad thing." – Alex's roommate
Why You Should Buy The Imbible
If you feel bad buying a book about drinking, just cover up the first 5 letters.
The U.S. Marines’ first recruiting station was in a bar. The Marines kill bad people. Are you pro bad people?
Because if you don’t remember how you got the scar, you can make up as manly as story as you like.
18 games of beer pong is a scapegoat for anything.
THE IMBIBLE is guaranteed to lower your standards in 5 chapters or less!
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Buy The ImBible: Drinking Games for Times You'll Never Remember with Friends You'll Never Forget
alexbash1@gmail.com
Sometimes The Imbible and I watch the sunrise.
Alex Bash is the moderately well-selling author of The Imbible: Drinking Games for Times You’ll Never Remember with Friends You’ll Never Forget. The Imbible is not only the definitive book on drinking games, but is also, as many typo-ridden emails have exclaimed, "Really fucking funny, bro."
In contrast to his nightly belligerence, Alex works at a hospital where he saves lives, which he likes to remind people is no big deal. He can say otolaryngology in three languages and knows more about the Orbitofrontal Cortex than is necessary for someone who is not, technically, a doctor. He enjoys bubblegum toothpaste, strawberry Pop Tarts, and bench press.
Alex on MySpace
Alex on Facebook
Alex on College Humor
Alex on Points in Case
Occasionally, The Imbible runs off into the sunset with two girls .
Drinking with my best friends: Imbible, Imbible, Imbible, and Steve.
Sometimes The Imbible and I do the Can-Can at 4am and then wake up in the front lawn clutching three empty bottles of champagne.
My editor sent me an extra large digital copy of The Imbible. I brought it to Canada with me...eh.
Hunting for prohibitionists.
Somewhere in Australia.
Possibility I'm currently riding a kangaroo: moderate.
People have told me this picture encapsulates who I am. Not sure what to think of that.
When in Rome, do as a frat boy does when he has ten minutes to get drunk for a date function.
The Imbible promotes nationalism. Boisterous, intrusive, and slightly off-balanced nationalism.
The Imbible is all about nuturing.
"Fuck bears," says The Imbible.
My God...what an amazing pair of Imbibles.
The Imbible shares a moment of brotherhood with a fellow Imbible.
Undefeated, naturally.
This! Is! Beer Pong!
The Imbible is always challenging itself to get better.
The Imbible saves lives. That, or penecillin. I always mix them up.
Being too perpetually hungover to eat = loosing fat = getting ripped. You’re welcome.
The Imbible is hella bangin' smart.
There is no spoon.
It's remarkable how similar THE IMBIBLE's body is to its author's. Simply remarkable.
So THAT'S why this painting is so famous!
The greatest game in the history of the world.
Hammered drunk.
If THE IMBIBLE were on the island with Jack Sparrow, the rum would never be gone.
Praise for The Imbible
"Alex Bash is one of the funniest writers I've ever read...legitimately one of the funniest books of the year." - Jason Pinter, author of the The Mark
"The Imbible introduces Bash as a major new talent in the genre of 'books most likely to make you run through campus naked…'" – Officer Hernandez
"A laugh-out-loud must have for any party connoisseur." - John Austin, author of Prank University
“Every now and then I think there are too many derogatory jokes in THE IMBIBLE, but then I take a few more shots and it all makes sense.” – Pretty Much Everyone
“I stopped counting at about 400, but I think there could very well be 1,000 instances of the word “drink” in this book. And that is awesome.” – QueefMo
"A stunning debut by that guy who kept us up 'til 4am with drunken choruses of Wonder Wall..." - The Sorority Next Door
"I read the entire thing cover to cover and didn't even play one game - it's THAT funny." - Internet Commenter
"No, but really, the book is hilarious. He's a seriously funny author." – Guy who is taking this way too seriously
“I can’t wait until people start blaming THE IMBIBLE for the downfall of American society instead of their horrific parenting. Seriously, it’s going to be great.” – Person Under 60 Years Old who isn’t Senile
“Dude Alex I am seriously so drunk right now, seriously, no joke, so drunk right now…dude.” – Seriously Drunk Guy
“Was this in the old or new testament?” - Guy who can’t grasp the concept of “play on words”
“From grandkids to grandparents, THE IMBIBLE is fun for the whole family!” – Counselor having mid-life crisis
“You’d better not quote me on your website, douche bag.” – John McAdmas Jr.
“The #1 source for alcoholics heavy social drinkers to decrease increase their life expectancy drunken fun!” – TwoHole
“A step-by-step guide to time traveling to your bedroom floor the following morning.” – Scientist, desperate for work
“THE IMBIBLE will make your life an exhilarating mystery as you race the clock for answers as to what the hell you did last night.” – JV
“THE IMBIBLE is the best book I’ve never seen or heard.” – Helen Keller
"I have not woken up before noon since Alex wrote this book. I'm not sure if this is a good or bad thing." – Alex's roommate
“With THE IMBIBLE you can have your cake and eat it to, and then puke it up into the toilet when you lose at Fuck the Dealer – no calories!” – Suspiciously fit female
“THE IMBIBLE is like White-Out for my life, which I think is good, because people say I’m kind of an asshole.” – TheClam
“I think I pooped myself.” – JD
“Even though I think you were joking, I still got to hit Danny in the balls four times when he lost his quarter playing Anchorman. Chuck 4, Danny’s Balls 0.” – Chuckleton
Sample Games
Why you should buy The Imbible
If waking up with a sore biceps means you had a great arm workout, waking up with a pounding head means you had a great brain workout!
Jump on the band wagon before the keg is tapped, both literally and metaphorically.
The fall of the Soviet Union was not due to the collapse of the Russian economy, but instead by the infamous game of Quarters that took place at the 1986 Reykjavik Summit between Mikhail Gorbachev and Ronald Reagan. I think it’s safe to say THE IMBIBLE is a patriot.
Because tears are less bitter when mixed with coconut rum.
If you feel bad buying a book about drinking, just cover up the first 5 letters.
The U.S. Marines’ first recruiting station was in a bar. The Marines kill bad people. Are you pro bad people?
Because if you don’t remember how you got the scar, you can make up as manly a story as you like.
18 games of beer pong is a scapegoat for anything.
THE IMBIBLE is guaranteed to lower your standards in 5 chapters or less!
If you never get to A) pass out on the floor, B) wake up in hand cuffs, C) go streaking, and D) wake up next to a naked stranger, you won’t be able to relate to half of what happens in all funny movies.
From the first drink of the night to the hair of the dog the next morning, THE IMBIBLE will make sure 90% of your outgoing phone calls are between 3:00-5:00am, which do not use peak minutes.
It can be used as a projectile, which you could very well say about any book, but after a few nights of usage The Imbible will probably have Chlamydia and act like a poison ninja star, which is way sweet.
Adolf Hitler was one of the world's best known abstainers from alcohol; his adversary, Sir Winston Churchill, was one of the world's best known heavy drinkers. I’ll let you figure this one out.
President Lincoln, when informed that General Grant drank whiskey while leading his troops, reportedly replied "Find out the name of the brand so I can give it to my other generals."
Be a part of history as THE IMBIBLE tears down the moral fabric of society!
THE IMBIBLE will lower GPAs across the country, making you look way better compared to everyone else.
Think about it…if ENRON had bought this book for all its employees they’d be too drunk to commit accounting fraud!
Drunk girls are easier. Not being a dick, just saying.
Drunk guys are easier. Not being a slut, just saying.
Franklin D. Roosevelt was elected President of the U.S. in 1932 on a pledge to end National Prohibition, so stop shitting on his memory and drink up!
It makes quarters much more valuable than 25 cents.
And finally…
THE IMBIBLE provides you with an infinite number of excuses to call your ex.